Paras Posted March 23, 2014 Report Share Posted March 23, 2014 Hi, I am really stuck up in a very bad situation and afraid of my wife, will really appreciate any help/suggestions......Plz help!!!!! I am currently on H1B visa..... got married in March 2012.....after 15 days of marriage came to USA with my wife( on H4 visa). I know this will sound really strange but my wife started demanding gifts from me for her parents and family stating that you are earning good money here and you should buy gifts for my family( phone, laptos and purses) and really this has happened to me. I always tried to get rid of the situation so that my life goes on smoothly, you guys can also say that i ran from the situation( i should have understood it then). After a year of marriage my wife ran to India alone( against my will) leaving me here for 3 months . During that time there was no contact between us. She did not go to my house in India and i doubt it that she went to her parents house either. My parents kind of religious mentality convinced her parents and compromised with her parents and convinced her to come back. When my wife came back i tried to settle down my life and we started living together a normal life. There were always small disputes still going on but i again tried to avoid the situation. In November 2013 we went to India on vacation again. while going to India she again started demanding gifts for her family, she bought expensive gifts for all her family members saying that we both are going to India first time after marriage and all that ****......But i never knew about her intentions behind this. After going to India we spent almost all of our stay lavishly but just two days before our flight, she started fighting with me again and turned out into a big situation( this girl being too clever did this 2 days before our flight) and then her brother and family came to our house with some goons and they started a fight against me. She went to police station and tried to stop me from coming to USA( that was always her intention). But somehow nothing was proven and i came back to USA alone as i did not want this girl in my life any more. Now Indian law always been supportive to girl( and this girl and her family always knew about it) everyone ( even lawyers ) told us not file for Divorce first and wait for them to do this. But this girl being an Urban girl and her parents have too much political influence in India filed for a Dowry case against me and my family after 3 months( i think her father being a income tax officer needed time to hide all her illegal assets) in February 2014. Now they file for RS 1.5cr dowry case against my family( which we can't even dream of) just to threaten my family and force themselves on us so that either i should not divorce her ( as there daughter is living a very lavish life in USA) and if we decide to divorce they are demanding 1.5cr from my family.After the case went to court all my family members got bails( excluding me) as my poor parents had nothing to do with all this. When they saw that nothing is happening in India and the only way they can trouble my family now is screwing my life( she was always sending emails to my office HR asking them my salary slips and to send me back to India ).Suddenly my wife came to USA alone. I was very afraid of her and right away called 911 and explained all the situation to them. they said that she is still legally married to you and you have to let her enter the house, then i told them that i am scared of this girl and she only came with one intention and that is to get me to India and screw my life:. So they suggested me to stay away from her and file for divorce or get a restraining order. So i left my apartment to her and presently staying in a Hotel( just to avoid this girl) as she might do something to herself and blame it on me and get me deported( in past also she used to threaten me that she will complain and cancel my VISA). I know its a long story but i have tried to explain my whole situation as i am going through a lot of mental stress and financial loss. Please help and someone please advise me how should i save myself and my stuff from her( as she is at home and i am staying in Hotel ). Plz help me !!!!!!!! Thanks Link to comment
rahul412 Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 I heard lot of stories about the misue of 498a. If you are innocent then you will be fine. Contact an attorney ASAP. Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted March 24, 2014 Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 And yes, start by filing a restraining order against her so you can have your peace of mind to do the divorce process Link to comment
Paras Posted March 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2014 And yes, start by filing a restraining order against her so you can have your peace of mind to do the divorce process Thanks for replying but my wife filed for a restraining order against me while i was busy hiring a attorney :( I think she is too clever and came to USA with all the planning....plz advise if anyone know any good lawyer in MA area ..... Thanks Link to comment
jairichi Posted March 25, 2014 Report Share Posted March 25, 2014 Thanks for replying but my wife filed for a restraining order against me while i was busy hiring a attorney :( I think she is too clever and came to USA with all the planning....plz advise if anyone know any good lawyer in MA area ..... Thanks Looks like she came well prepared. Is she a part of your current apartment lease agreement? If not, I believe you can take that avenue to get her removed from your apartment. But, being her legal spouse you still have to pay for her temporary accommodation in US. I would suggest you to talk to a good family attorney asap. Delaying is going to create problem for you. Just take this week off and hunt for a good attorney who could represent you and help you out. If possible, after consultation with your attorney, talk to your employer about working remotely from another country other than US and India for certain period of time like 3 to 6 months or moving to another project in a different country. In this way after sometime she would be considered out of status or illegally present in US as you the primary H1B holder has left the country. This suggestion might be wrong but just asking you to give a thought to it after talking with your attorney. Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted March 25, 2014 Report Share Posted March 25, 2014 Thanks for replying but my wife filed for a restraining order against me while i was busy hiring a attorney :( I think she is too clever and came to USA with all the planning....plz advise if anyone know any good lawyer in MA area ..... Thanks Seems your wife is pretty well prepared for the fight and you will have a tough time getting out from this easily. You can wither get the restraining order cancelled ( which I doubt ) as she is the female and has an upper hand. You can in turn get a restraining order against her so she cannot come near you too . Get a good divorce attorney and be ready for a fight. It will not be easy . She is the girl and has an upper hand in everything in a divorce . You are really lucky not to have kids Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted March 25, 2014 Report Share Posted March 25, 2014 Looks like she came well prepared. Is she a part of your current apartment lease agreement? If not, I believe you can take that avenue to get her removed from your apartment. But, being her legal spouse you still have to pay for her temporary accommodation in US. I would suggest you to talk to a good family attorney asap. Delaying is going to create problem for you. Just take this week off and hunt for a good attorney who could represent you and help you out. If possible, after consultation with your attorney, talk to your employer about working remotely from another country other than US and India for certain period of time like 3 to 6 months or moving to another project in a different country. In this way after sometime she would be considered out of status or illegally present in US as you the primary H1B holder has left the country. This suggestion might be wrong but just asking you to give a thought to it after talking with your attorney. If he runs away , she can claim abandonment by spouse and get a GC under battered woman quota. It would be considered a felony on his part Link to comment
Paras Posted March 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 If he runs away , she can claim abandonment by spouse and get a GC under battered woman quota. It would be considered a felony on his part Yeah she came well prepared coz just after one day only she got a restraining order.....she definitely have some links and people supporting her here, and she is just trying to harm me and ruin my career. I hired a lawyer today and he said that first we need to take care of the restraining order and its not easy to get it revoked...... She is too clever but i gave my lawyer all the proofs and trying to be honest with my lawyer...... he also agreed that he is not getting the point why any order was issued against me as she just landed on saturday and i moved out right away and asked cops to escort me out as i am really afraid of my wife. I know i have very hard time to face as this girl is too clever and came well prepared, hope this gets resolved and i get out of all this mess quickly..... Link to comment
jairichi Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 If he runs away , she can claim abandonment by spouse and get a GC under battered woman quota. It would be considered a felony on his part He is not planning to run away. He is moving to a different country due to work to make a living. His attorney can word it better than me. Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Hi Paras Here is some things that may help you prepare and be ready for what is coming 1) Be positive at every moment . It will finish one day 2) She being a woman has more rights than you and will be favored by law at every step 3) Do not ever meet her even if she calls you during the validity of the restraining order . There is a restraining order for a reason . 4) Even after that do not ever meet her personally. One call from her will land you in jail . 5) This is not going to be easy and no way is it going to be quick 6) When this ends you will be worth a lot less in $$ that when you started . 7) You are responsible for her expenses since she is H-4 and also since you are married to her 8) Move in with a friend or a cheap PG accommodation and save money . You are in this long term 9) She can always go for battered woman case and get her GC and you will land up all destroyed if you are not careful 10) Do not be angry at her and do anything illegal . Keep your patience and you will come out the winner in the end 11) Even if you finish the divorce case here in US, She can create a whole lot of problems for you and your folks back in India. 12) Do not discuss your steps with any common friends/family that may tell your strategy to her 13) You will lose all your common Indian friends and may be all your other friends too in this battle . Welcome to the Indian community . Wish you the best for your fight for survival. Try and get some support from divorce groups if possible Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Even if he works from the moon for an employer, he is responsible for his wife's expenses as she is on H-4 ( dependant on him) and also his spouse . If she files for welfare, he will be screwed big time and would tantamount to abandonment ... Link to comment
jairichi Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Even if he works from the moon for an employer, he is responsible for his wife's expenses as she is on H-4 ( dependant on him) and also his spouse . If she files for welfare, he will be screwed big time and would tantamount to abandonment ... Once he moves out of US his wife is no longer in H4. By law she has to exit US. Is there any immigration law that prevents OP's spouse from doing so? There might be but I have not come across one. And, I am saying I am not an attorney. OP has all rights to move out of US temporarily to work in another company. If she moves back to home country her only option would be to file for divorce and alimony and I am sure OP would not hesitate to oblige that. Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 Once he moves out of US his wife is no longer in H4. By law she has to exit US. Is there any immigration law that prevents OP's spouse from doing so? There might be but I have not come across one. And, I am saying I am not an attorney. OP has all rights to move out of US temporarily to work in another company. If she moves back to home country her only option would be to file for divorce and alimony and I am sure OP would not hesitate to oblige that. That's a good point. I am not sure but may be a good option in this case Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 This is what I found http://www.**************.html Link to comment
jairichi Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 That's a good point. I am not sure but may be a good option in this case See I am speculating things and possible avenues for OP to get out of this tricky situation. Nothing else. These are the possible options he could discuss with his attorney apart from what he had come up with. Link to comment
Paras Posted March 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 See I am speculating things and possible avenues for OP to get out of this tricky situation. Nothing else. These are the possible options he could discuss with his attorney apart from what he had come up with. We had a court hearing today and judge vacated the restraining order against me today as i gave all the proofs about our vacations last year and the expenses and she was the one who came to USA alone without informing me and i moved out. She is not the one who is threatened its the other way around. I have started the Divorce process against her today only and fear that she is the one who might run away now as the law is more neutral over here. I am not saying that its not fair in India but girls take advantage of the laws (made to protect the women who really need it. Link to comment
jairichi Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 We had a court hearing today and judge vacated the restraining order against me today as i gave all the proofs about our vacations last year and the expenses and she was the one who came to USA alone without informing me and i moved out. She is not the one who is threatened its the other way around. I have started the Divorce process against her today only and fear that she is the one who might run away now as the law is more neutral over here. I am not saying that its not fair in India but girls take advantage of the laws (made to protect the women who really need it. Glad to know that things are progressing in the right direction for you. Anything you do with regard to your wife like attending a phone call from her or meeting her do so after consulting with an attorney. As your wife would be planning to intimidate you to do something in your temper and you end up in the wrong side of the law. Be cool and stay focused. Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 If she runs away make sure to get the divorce and also a restraining order against her and be safe. Stay away from common friends and her contacts and family .She can still do harm to you in India but you are safe in US for now Link to comment
t75 Posted March 28, 2014 Report Share Posted March 28, 2014 Women in the US abuse the system as well. It is particularly bad in regard to child custody, IMO. Above all, protect yourself from potential domestic violence charges. NEVER see her alone. Good luck. Link to comment
bhand11683 Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 Hi Paras So whats the next step . Have you been able to go home .. Link to comment
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