I've been cheated by my husband who's on h1 visa

[Amethyst]

Dear experts,

I am currently on H4 visa and my husband is on H1 visa. We were married in November 2011 and i came to USA in January 2012. My husband and in-laws cheated on me saying that my husband is well set in USA and all. When I came to USA, he treated me brutal. He abused verbally and physically no. Of times. And now he has sent me India in feb 2013 saying that he will call me back. Apparently it's been more than 5 months now, he isn't calling me back neither receiving my calls or in touch since last 3 months.

My question to experts here is if I can file a divorce in USA though I'm married in India??

Will he be punished for this crime? And as I've dependent visa, on what visa can I come back to India?? Do I need to how any hard proof for my statement against him???

[jairichi]

Sorry to hear about your case. You should have filed a domestic abuse/violence complaint when you were here in US.

[omshiv]

Why didnt you report to the Cops? Your cheat husband would be in a jail/hell for the rest of his life.

[bhand11683]

Well, Are't we all in a hurry to judge a person by hearing just one side of the story. I am glad we are not the judges . This is the reason we have unfair domestic laws against men where we all judge "the man" as criminal by just hearing one side of the story. The wife in this case can file for a divorce if she desires. I do not see any cheating in this case. If there was domestic violence it could have been reported to the police in US and they would have taken appropriate action . 

 

So lets not jump the gun and judge anybody in a newsgroup without knowing anything about the case ...

[jairichi]

Well, Are't we all in a hurry to judge a person by hearing just one side of the story. I am glad we are not the judges . This is the reason we have unfair domestic laws against men where we all judge "the man" as criminal by just hearing one side of the story. The wife in this case can file for a divorce if she desires. I do not see any cheating in this case. If there was domestic violence it could have been reported to the police in US and they would have taken appropriate action . 

 

So lets not jump the gun and judge anybody in a newsgroup without knowing anything about the case ...

Bhand, our responses are based on statements provided by OP. 

[Desi Dude]

Dear experts,

I am currently on H4 visa and my husband is on H1 visa. We were married in November 2011 and i came to USA in January 2012. My husband and in-laws cheated on me saying that my husband is well set in USA and all. When I came to USA, he treated me brutal. He abused verbally and physically no. Of times. And now he has sent me India in feb 2013 saying that he will call me back. Apparently it's been more than 5 months now, he isn't calling me back neither receiving my calls or in touch since last 3 months.

My question to experts here is if I can file a divorce in USA though I'm married in India??

Will he be punished for this crime? And as I've dependent visa, on what visa can I come back to India?? Do I need to how any hard proof for my statement against him???

 

So how is he cheating? Why do you want to file for divorce in USA? File for divorce in India if you are not happy with your marriage. Start a new life.

 

What has all this to do with immigration forum? It seems you have another motive. You don't need any visa to come back to India.

[bhand11683]

My response was directed at  "omshiv"  poster's response in judging the H1-B man as a cheat and putting him in Jail for life just because the wife felt that she was cheated and not treated well.. There is no proof of anything and no legal action taken or any complaint but the man is judged as a cheat and to be put in jail for life ...

[omshiv]

My response was directed at  "omshiv"  poster's response in judging the H1-B man as a cheat and putting him in Jail for life just because the wife felt that she was cheated and not treated well.. There is no proof of anything and no legal action taken or any complaint but the man is judged as a cheat and to be put in jail for life ...

 

it seems either you are a victim or you know someone close who's a victim. Sorry about that.

[JoeF]

Well, Are't we all in a hurry to judge a person by hearing just one side of the story. I am glad we are not the judges . This is the reason we have unfair domestic laws against men where we all judge "the man" as criminal by just hearing one side of the story. The wife in this case can file for a divorce if she desires. I do not see any cheating in this case. If there was domestic violence it could have been reported to the police in US and they would have taken appropriate action . 

 

So lets not jump the gun and judge anybody in a newsgroup without knowing anything about the case ...

I DO jump the gun and tell you that you are wrong when you talk about "unfair domestic laws".

Women are 99% of the victims of domestic abuse.

[bhand11683]

To JoeF 

 

You should read about 498a and IRBM laws in India and their impact on the Indian society. You should try and read about Indian Supreme Court calling 498A as "legal terrorism" . You should also read US laws where the person is "Innocent" until proved guilty in all law areas except domestic laws.

 

You should also ask yourself why 90 % of women get child custody and not men ...

 

I am sure  there are genuine cases where the women are mistreated and plenty others where it is manipulation ...The key is to find out the genuine ones ...

[ge145]

Dear experts,

I am currently on H4 visa and my husband is on H1 visa. We were married in November 2011 and i came to USA in January 2012. My husband and in-laws cheated on me saying that my husband is well set in USA and all. When I came to USA, he treated me brutal. He abused verbally and physically no. Of times. And now he has sent me India in feb 2013 saying that he will call me back. Apparently it's been more than 5 months now, he isn't calling me back neither receiving my calls or in touch since last 3 months.

My question to experts here is if I can file a divorce in USA though I'm married in India??

Will he be punished for this crime? And as I've dependent visa, on what visa can I come back to India?? Do I need to how any hard proof for my statement against him???

 

Sorry to hear about the your situation.

Yes you can divorce in USA, but you need to file for divorce in India as well. There was a case in Indian system long ago where NRI divorces were not recognized. Consult with divorce attorneys of both countries.

I am confused on your post - r u in India or US. You dont need to get a visa to goto India.

[Desi Dude]

To JoeF 

 

You should read about 498a and IRBM laws in India and their impact on the Indian society. You should try and read about Indian Supreme Court calling 498A as "legal terrorism" . You should also read US laws where the person is "Innocent" until proved guilty in all law areas except domestic laws.

 

You should also ask yourself why 90 % of women get child custody and not men ...

 

I am sure  there are genuine cases where the women are mistreated and plenty others where it is manipulation ...The key is to find out the genuine ones ...

 

 

Great response !!!!! I dont see anyone arguing with that.

[JoeF]

To JoeF 

 

You should read about 498a and IRBM laws in India and their impact on the Indian society. You should try and read about Indian Supreme Court calling 498A as "legal terrorism" . You should also read US laws where the person is "Innocent" until proved guilty in all law areas except domestic laws.

 

You should also ask yourself why 90 % of women get child custody and not men ...

 

I am sure  there are genuine cases where the women are mistreated and plenty others where it is manipulation ...The key is to find out the genuine ones ...

Irrelevant.

This is the US, not India.

 

FACT is that in over 99% of cases, the victim of domestic abuse is female.

[omshiv]

Irrelevant.

This is the US, not India.

 

FACT is that in over 99% of cases, the victim of domestic abuse is female.

 

Agreed. Thats unfortunate though.

[JoeF]

To JoeF 

 

You should read about 498a and IRBM laws in India and their impact on the Indian society. You should try and read about Indian Supreme Court calling 498A as "legal terrorism" . You should also read US laws where the person is "Innocent" until proved guilty in all law areas except domestic laws.

 

You should also ask yourself why 90 % of women get child custody and not men ...

 

I am sure  there are genuine cases where the women are mistreated and plenty others where it is manipulation ...The key is to find out the genuine ones ...

Oh, and if you want to lecture me, I suggest you lecture your fellow countrymen first, e.g., about forced marriage...

From a recent article in the English newspaper Independent:

"Another woman, whose identity was protected by Essex Police, told AFP that her father forced her into a marriage in India, after threatening to find her and kill her if she tried to run away.

“I was shipped off with a total stranger. That night I was raped by my husband and this abuse continued for about eight and half years of my life,” she said. She later escaped."

 

Domestic violence, in particular violence against women, is despicable. NOTHING can excuse that, and certainly not "498a".

Fix the underlying problem of treating women as second-class humans, and then your problem with 498a will go away.

[rahul412]

Oh, and if you want to lecture me, I suggest you lecture your fellow countrymen first, e.g., about forced marriage...

From a recent article in the English newspaper Independent:

"Another woman, whose identity was protected by Essex Police, told AFP that her father forced her into a marriage in India, after threatening to find her and kill her if she tried to run away.

“I was shipped off with a total stranger. That night I was raped by my husband and this abuse continued for about eight and half years of my life,” she said. She later escaped."

 

Domestic violence, in particular violence against women, is despicable. NOTHING can excuse that, and certainly not "498a".

Fix the underlying problem of treating women as second-class humans, and then your problem with 498a will go away.

That's everywhere Joe. I am not against you but if you compare India with some other countries, I think India is far better.

[JoeF]

That's everywhere Joe. I am not against you but if you compare India with some other countries, I think India is far better.

I don't go into "my country is better than your country" stuff.

I just don't like it when people try to lecture me about domestic violence stuff.

Women are the victims in domestic violence situations.

[cap-gap]

Bhand, our responses are based on statements provided by OP. 

that makes sense..

 

if OP's statements are not true, I'm sure her husband will post in this forum with a title " I have been falsely alleged by my wife" ;)

 

times have changed fast..kudos the desi women who've evolved so fast..

 

my Engg. college conducts orientations for "flying birds" by Alumni settled here..in one of my recent news letters to them, I highlighted the domestic abuse problem..

 

..i got several e-mails from those young men freaked out by learning the consequencies of domestic abuse cases here..noticed that still significant changes should occur in desi guys' controlling habits..

[Moral]

Somebody said above we can not judge just listening one side story - absolutely true.  Words are very powerful.  How things takes place man goes to office, woman around gather and discuss how much money sent to in-laws, how much property made, what you have at your home.  Here wife's are forgetting that their husband pocket & level and trying to compete with others. 

Lets think about other side of the coin, Look at a men, how much struggle he might have done to reach to US, bring wife with his own expenses, take care of medical and complete the delivery and send them back to India on own his expenses and still take the blame.  I do not see any truth in it because the moment people leaves India or any of their origin most time they stay, with wife & kids and spend money on them.  I have seen cases wife's scrutinizing husband literally, with my own eyes.  These days it become a practice, after marriage come onsite, wait until one kid join family then proceeding with legally.  This is fact.  How many cases reported by men's saying wife abusing in US because everybody came here for a goal, long run settling intention. I have seen people keeping quite even after their wife's are showing hell to them just to bound to the marriage relation and not to spoil, getting going because of kids future.

 

Most of the case what I have seen egos and greediness that leads to instability in life and ended up with problem that leads to break-up.  Nobody cares about kids at this stage. 

Other side of the coin I wont deny there are cases but very less. This is my only opinion

 

[Moral]

I don't go into "my country is better than your country" stuff.

I just don't like it when people try to lecture me about domestic violence stuff.

Women are the victims in domestic violence situations.

I am not sure from where your taking these evidence and what basis

Let me tell you my friend's story, He struggled 7 years to reach to US.  After marriage from the day one problems started saying I am not interested in this marriage, my parents were forced me to marry you.  He already told her several times if you are not happy I am not stopping you, you are free, make your own decision.  She used to say I am staying with you to make my parents happy.  You know how expensive medical in US if there is no proper coverage, life is hell.  He spent almost all the saving make here passport, sponsor visa by myself, brought her to US on his own expenses.  Before coming to US there was a different story after coming to US since day one she started playing her own politics everybody was backing from India.  She used to yell, abuse with vulgar language, cursing his parents, his brothers and sisters, taking one pay run amount and send it to her parents through her friends while some one going to India.  She called 911 several times and they also went through counseling services.

She conceived, delivered baby girl and her husband took care of all medical expenses even though there no good coverage.  His in-laws force him to send to India on every call.  Once she went to India she filed 498a saying my husband physically, mentally abused and torched me.  In reality she made his life hell.  Now she is demanding closely one crore means $200,000 US dollars to settle the matter. 

There is no honesty these days.  There are no values to arranged marriage.  He was asking me help for take his baby girl in to his custody, then I started looking in to this forum and I landed here.  Through out the world system believes what woman says no one will listen/consider what men says.  Sometime we need to step back and look in reality.  I heard few other cases around my neibhourhood in India same, elders back in India saying marriages are turned business.  If not interested smoothly settle and get going.  Why should boy only suffer all the time.