H4 visa and husband treatment with her...


Recommended Posts

Hi Friends,


Its a long message but I have tried to make it short but it is still not short, sorry for this trouble but I seriously need advice/help


I am on H4 visa and my husband is on H1B, we are married for 3 years and living in USA. I have traveled to India to attend my sister marriage alone for 2and1/2 month(1 month before and after the marriage, tickets were costly for the month of Dec for return and my husband was not ready to spend on higher range and we agreed for 12 Jan date, and we also agreed that we will reschedule to prior date if we will find it cheaper.


He was saying me to go for 1 month only  and I wanted to stay for 1 more month as my mother will be all alone and there should be some one with her too as I have full responsibility towards her as for my husband.


After 1 and half year or around 2 years of marriage, my husband started abusing, me and he slapped me twice. For the second time I said him that I will call 911 if he will not stop harassing me. He stopped after that but mental torture and some physical torture , threatening was still there.


When I traveled to India he said that stay with my family (with his mom and dad, at his house and I was like I am going to attend my sister marriage and I said you that my mom is alone and I want to stay with her) How can I stay with your parents?


He argued with me many times and finally I decided that I will go and stay with them in between for the month of November. His parents started abusing me, torturing me for small small things.. I have been criticize angrily on several things as I am a daughter in law and bcz I am from a middle class background. In fever too I was doing cooking, cleaning and many other stuff as I want happiness of my husband that he will understand me that I have done enough for him and his parents without my will and he will happily allow me to stay for next DEC month to stay with my mom. For 1 month I was handling this all **** and telling my husband each and every activity/details.. he was just quite, just telling me to be calm and quite and stay with them rather then filling my pain.


On 30 Nov my sister got married and I started calling make my trip from 6th Dec to reschedule my tickets as my inner sense was saying I cannot stay with my mom and I have to stay with my in laws now and If I will not do it, my husband will mentally start torturing me


Luckily I got the tickets for rescheduling in just 200 $ but my husband was not ready to spend and just arguing on regular intervals to stay with his parents. I also get a sense that they wanted to kill me as he was always like just go and stay for one night "only one night" and we will do your tickets, I dont know what will happen in that one night ( will it gonna be my last night on this earth) and I was afraid and decided I'ill not go..


I have some Q's

1)As I am well qualified, worked in India for 3 years as JAVA developer but married him and staying on H4, is it my punishments as I am not able to contribute money, he wil treat me like this ?

2) As I was adamant that I will not go and stay with your parents as they are not giving me respect and treating me like a maid, at the end he said me,

he does not want to live with me .. he want to get separated...

For this thing, if I am not convenient to stay somewhere even though its his house, can he threat me like this?

3) or he has something in his mind to marry some one in USA and get GC, one of his frd did the same, I think he is going on the same track( I am not sure for this thing but he said me that he does not want to live iwth me now and just ignoring me altogether)

4) He is saying to his friend in USA, that I might will extend my stay after 12 Jan, which I don't want to and I never said this but he is making these things.


I dont want to spoil my house, I left my career, my parents everything for this person and he want to leave me for this small thing.


Please friends help me.. What I can do in this situation?

Link to comment

Hi - Sorry to hear your situation. I am afraid this forum wouldn't be of much help to you in these matters. The forum would be able to answer only immigration related questions in specific. Also, it would depend on what you would want to do with your situation. I think need to take some bold decisions by confronting these questions and answer some basic questions like (Do I want to continue staying with him? What are my options if I decide to move on? etc)


All the best! 

Link to comment

I'll not let him marry there again and leave me here alone by killing my career, my life. An suggestions what I can do if I reach to USA somehow, against him.  I don't have money, i have not earned anything of my own from the last 3 years.


You have been provided the option of contacting an attorney. Do that first to explore legal options available for you.

Link to comment

usimmi14 - I dont have any options right now, I dont know anything...my mind is not working..I never thought this could happen to me



@deepasingh8619 - I understand your situation. it is tough, but its the only way out. Compose yourself and decide what you need to do to move on, its definitely not the end of the world. Focus. All the best! 


And as i said, this forum would always be there if you have any immigration questions.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Your best bet is a family court lawyer to settle things out. First, discuss with your family and gain support for your situation and then speak to the lawyer. Indian laws can protect you and he can be made liable for his actions. 


best of luck and as others noted above, this is not the end of the world - you are qualified, you have some experience in professional life and your will is your way. Shoot forward my friend and NEVER give up. 

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.