Non immigrant family issue

[anonymous anonymous]

Hi,

I'm from India and I have H4 visa. However, I did not travel to USA after my marriage due to my husband's reluctance to take me along after I obtained my H4. My husband has not communicated to me from the past 6 months and I'm married for over a year now. His parents in India are forcing me & threatening me to sign a mutual divorce which I do not want to do. I am planning to obtain student visa this month and I still have 4 months of H4 visa validity left as his H1 is set to expire in April. I am not sure if he got H1B extended.He is working as a senior engineer for a very reputed company in USA.

In these circumstances,is it advisable for me to travel to USA on H4 and seek legal help. If I travel on student visa, will I be at a disadvantage when it comes to marital legal matters .  I have no knowledge of legal policies in USA and am quite confused as to what step I should take.I'm feeling extremely helpless right now. Kindly advise me.

Thanking you,

Anoynymous

[murali govindu]

1) looks like your intent is to patch up with your husband and save the marriage

2) unless you got strong interest in continuing studies in US, there is no meaning in getting this visa only to address the first point from above.

3) you mentioned you already got Visa, meaning stamped and you can fly to US.  If so, you should be knowing where he is working and his address whereabouts, this is needed at POE and immigration check-in India as well.

4) if you come on H4, you can still find similar options like now i.e., by converting your H4 while you are in US to B2 or F1 or even H1 if you have a professional background and a willful employer to file for your work-permit and you get lucky to get your application picked up for this process.

5) There are no special advantages in obtaining a Student visa to come here to save your marriage.  However, there are both pros and cons here:

Pros: a) you got a dependent visa on H1 beneficiary, so, basically, he is responsible to take care of you and your affairs in the US morally.  Unless he has already obtained a one-sided divorce in US courts (which is legal and valid - but can be challenged back in India by you as it did go without your consent) and he is no more responsible for your actions in US.  There is no way to know unless you search his records in US through a proper channel.  You can still take a chance to come here and pursue.

b) give a chance to your marriage to survive by eliminating the difference of opinions your family has.

c) get foreign orientation and stand a chance to know multi-cultures at one spot and its a land of opportunities be it a professional or personal.

d) world is in the phase of women-oriented now, which would change every 40 to 60 years between men and women. So, in case of courtship or hardship, you may get some help from the Gov. agencies including the courthouse community services for para-legal for you to be Pro-Se (one your own without any representation of attorney) as it is hard to fight back from overseas.

e) you can stand a chance to face the Judge and ask for family counseling instead of a divorce on any consent or irrecoverable consent.

Cons: a) no support structure like you get in India to go through your recoverable marriage process unless you got friends and family here around.

b) The government has fewer resources to fund situations like this and it is difficult to stay in status and live without proper support apart from emotionally.

c) your Husband can draw a Restraining Order on you if he wishes, which makes you different to pursue your interests to save your marriage.  this is equal to domestic violence back in India with severe punishments.  and these laws are by the state to state while some will run parallel to our life until they are vacated by the court once obtained.  Remember, this RO can be taken without your presence as well!

d) your refill your confidence and socialization and even your course of life could change in worst cases in going through the hardship.

e) your husband may not cooperate to get his documents to continue or change your visa status in US, which will jeopardize your own status and have a trickle effect.

f) money speaks in US like rest of the World, no change to what you have seen in developing countries like India.

g) you may lose your valuable and invaluable time, money, youth in settling in further life if the result differs from your will.  listen to your heart, parents, and your teacher, and know what is determination, confidence, love, money value and especially time value.  be-prepared as lack of this ingredient will drive you nuts.

h) the person could understand if your true love, intentions after a couple of decades or never, determine if that is acceptable to you or no.

i) this is the land of opportunities but at the same time no-man's land as well, since, even if you have friends or relatives, they can care your welfare to a certain period of time with their own outcome of the means and remember it has its own odds, may be worth it or not even.

Again, go to a legal attorney if you need legal advice!  Remember, only your faith, self-confidence, and determination will make you afloat in this high-water which you aim to embrace.  Life is precious, just look around!!  All the best.

|M